Monday, June 25, 2012

For every star in the sky


We could lay on our backs in the grass and write poetry for the stars

A specific stanza for every one of them

And we’d waste our years just breathing out new words


Breathing out the innocence of speech without intent

The breath that comes as naturally to us as it does to the grass

Breathing out the idiocy of less-then-a-moment’s thought

The breath that comes and goes without even realizing its passing

Breathing out the profundity of our souls

The miraculous breath that sustains everything

Breathing out the stupidity of young love


A stanza for every one of them.

How long ago was "Don't Ask, Don't Tell"?

Man, two years can make a big difference. The Department of Defense is planning a Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual and Transgender Pride Month event tomorrow.

Tuesday, June 19, 2012

Thursday, June 14, 2012

Baseball stuff

Do I love baseball? That's a clown question, bro.


This year, I've been too busy to watch a lot of games, but man, I love all the weird and wonderful stuff going on around the edges.

A couple of quick hits from the three most obnoxious fan bases in baseball, according to a Men's Journal Survey.

1) Philadelphia. Since no Phillies fans have gotten around to intentionally vomiting on little girls this year, it's up to the mascot to pick up the slack in the Philadelphia Department of Jackassery. The Philles Phanatic ("the most sued mascot in sports," according to Wikipedia) was sued last week for grabbing a wedding guest and dumping her into a hotel pool.

"The Phanatic suddenly picked up both Peirce and her lounge chair and tossed both into the pool, according to [the lawsuit].

This isn’t the first time the Phanatic’s been accused of being too fanatical: in 2010 the Daily News found he’d been sued at least three other times in the last decade, once for hugging someone too hard. In 2010, a woman attending a Reading Phillies game with her church group claimed he sat on her legs, making her arthritis act up and ultimately led to a knee replacement, a lawsuit alleged." (Philly.com)

2) New York Mets: Johan Santana threw the Mets' first-ever no-hitter, and, true to baseball's crass commercial  attitude, the Mets are selling $50 replica game tickets for lucky fans who weren't actually there but want to pretend like they were. After 8,019 games without a no-hitter, I guess the Mets wanted to cash in while they could.

Knuckleballer R.A. Dickey followed up with a two complete-game shutouts, one of them a one-hitter that the Mets are seeking to turn into another no-hitter by trying to turn a bad David Wright throw into an error. Replica game tickets will be discounted to $49 because nobody respects a no-hitter that was awarded on appeal, not even R.A. Dickey.



"I think the asterisk beside the no-hitter would get more attention than the no-hitter, you know?" Dickey told the Daily News. "Plus, you're not pitching the eighth, ninth inning with the pressure of a no-hitter going, you know? It would be a little bit cheap."


New York Yankees:  I guess I'm not the only one who finds Nick Swisher unbearable.


“Everything about (Swisher) is annoying, from his mannerisms to his always wanting to ‘bro’ it down,” an unnamed American League veteran told [Men's Journal]. “Being around him is just exhausting.”

3) San Francisco GiantsA Giants fan casually hovering past McCovey Cove on a JET PACK to watch Matt Cain pitch? Cain, not wanting to be shown up, went ahead to pitch a perfect game. 



BONUS: Check out my friend Ben's awesome page, Dan Uggla Wearing Uggs, the source of my photoshop of the day.

Wednesday, June 13, 2012

In War, $100 Million a Month Means Never Having to Say You're Sorry.


$100 million – that's how much the U.S. spends each month to reroute Afghanistan war supplies around closed ground routes in Pakistan, in part because U.S. leaders continue to refuse Pakistan's demand for a formal apology for the November deaths of 24 Pakistani soldiers killed during a mistaken-identity border skirmish with NATO air forces.

Defense Secretary Leon Panetta put a number on the costs of alternate shipping routes for the first time in Wednesday testimony to Congress. While Panetta said that both sides have a made progress towards a deal to reopen the supply routes, called the Ground Lines of Communication - or GLOCs - in military speak, he stressed that the apology isn't the only sticking point.

“The U.S. had made clear that mistakes were made, and they were made on our side, they were also made on the Pakistani side. We've expressed our condolences for the mistakes that were made," Panetta said. “That alone isn't the only issue that's being discussed and that needs to be resolved in order to get the GLOCS open."

In a Tuesday press briefing, Pentagon spokesman George Little similarly avoided the word “apology,” saying that U.S. leaders had “taken responsibility” for the deaths, and “expressed our deep regret and condolences.”

When pressed on why the U.S. wouldn't apologize and asked to confirm it was a sticking point in negotiations, Little implied that a formal apology was still under negotiation.

“Well, again, this gets to the contours of the negotiation, and I wouldn't get into the specifics of what we're discussing or not discussing with the Pakistanis,” Little said, “Whether or not an apology is part of that mix is not something I'm going to discuss in a public forum.”

The Department of Defense investigation into the border skirmish chalked it up to poor communication, fueled by a lack of trust between U.S. and Pakistani forces. U.S. forces near the Pakistan-Afghanistan border came under fire, and acted in self defense and with appropriate force, before being informed that their adversaries were Pakistani, not insurgent, forces. After the skirmish, Pakistan kicked the CIA out of an air base that had been used for drone strikes and shut the U.S, out of trucking routes to Afghanistan.

Until now, military leaders had been reluctant to put a price on the costs of rerouting supplies, probably concerned that Pakistan would use that price against them in negotiations to reopen the GLOCS.

Is there any hope of rescuing the dysfunctional relationship between America and Pakistan? Let's review a list of greatest hits from the past year or so: 1) Bin Laden was found hiding deep in Pakistan 2) the Pakistani doctor who helped U.S. forces locate Bin Laden was sentenced to 33 years in prison for treason 3) Taliban fighters continue to hide in Pakistan, and U.S. drone strikes continue to kill them (and nearby civilians) in Pakistan 4) 24 Pakistanis are killed after firing on NATO forces near the Afghanistan border.

I should write more

"To become a better writer you probably – and not so surprisingly – need to write more." -- Stephen King.


 I should write more. I know, I know, I write a lot for my job as a legal reporter for Law360 -- 1,175 articles and counting, just in the past 21 and a half months. But non-subscribers (i.e., my friends, i.e. YOU, dear, hypothetical reader) aren't allowed to see that stuff, and even if they could, it would probably bore them to tears. Unless they were really into government contracts regulations (and space law! I sometimes write about space law!).

I should write more. That's the subtitle of this blog, which I started in Spain and abandoned there. It was a lot easier to "write more" when I had a 15-hour a week job in a small town with high unemployment and low cost of living. I kept meaning to get back to it after getting my feet on the ground in New York, but I always seem to find more ways to stay just busy enough that writing seems like an awful chore. I am in a band, I work 10-hour days, I party, I play D&D weekly, I'm in a book club ... you know, life. Plus, I just got a computer with games on it. So writing, and basic living tasks have taken a hit. I do laundry less than once a week, despite living in an apartment with a washer and drier (also, a baby, but that's another story). My diet has reverted to college-era fare of Swanson's chicken pot pies, Chef Boyardee ravioli and Hot Pockets -- anything that I can purchase cheap and consume quickly after returning home at 11pm from wherever the day has taken me. (Hot Pocket!).

There's just not enough time in a week to do everything you need to do, and also play Skyrim.

But here's the thing, I still have this blog, so I'm going to use it. Is it still going to be a space for a poem a day? Heck, no. But instead of throwing it away and trying to rebrand myself, I'll keep "The Saddest Viking" name and the "I should write more" theme, and, you know, just write more. Maybe about national security policy, stuff that is interesting but irrelevant to my professional career ("What's the contractor angle?" "This doesn't read like a legal story."). Maybe about music (I'm trying to freelance for the arts section of a Brooklyn paper -- no, scratch that THE Brooklyn Paper).  Maybe poems, or bits of stories, or funny stuff I find on the internet. Maybe just stuff I would've posted to Facebook, but in slightly longer form. Who knows?  But I know this -- I should write more.